Well it’s official, I’m now over my “Glossophobia”! And what may you ask is that?! Well whilst it may well not be a term that you’re familiar with, there’s a big chance it’s a fear that you’re all too aware of – it’s the fear of public speaking. And it’s a pretty common fear too. In fact, one survey showed that the fear in public speaking is not only one of the most common fears it could be even feared more than death (Dwyer & Davidson, 2012). Yes, it’s fair to say that there are a lot of people who really don’t like it! And up until very recently I was one of those people!
However, today I was invited to do my first ever paid speaking event in London – I did it, it was great and I now feel incredibly proud… It’s strange isn’t it, have you ever noticed that there’s something you’d thought you’d never be able to do, so you avoid doing it at all costs, until one day you actually do it and once you’ve done it, it feels AMAZING?!
For those of you who know me, you may be familiar with the fact I can talk. For as long as I can remember, from when I was a little girl I was someone who liked to speak. I came from a school of thought of “Why use 10 words when you can use 50?”. Indeed, I’m not sure I ever had a school report that didn’t mention somewhere in it that I’m a ‘bit of chatterbox’. Yes, it’s fair to say I’m a talker. However, the thought of public speaking was a whole different ball game!
Over the years, prior to going through The Thrive Programme, I’ve been on a number of different presentation courses for work, which I hated pretty much every moment of. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like a training course, because I love them. I love taking on new information and the satisfaction you get when you know you’re learning and developing. However, the reason I hated public speaking courses so much was because it was inevitable that at some point someone would make you stand up at the front and practice your new found “skills”, and the mere thought of it filled me with dread. So, over the years I’ve created a huge amount of anxiety on multiple occasions the moment I’d hear the dread words “Mary, I’ve signed you up to do a presentation skills course!”
“I’m not sure I ever had a school report that didn’t mention somewhere in it that I’m a ‘bit of chatterbox’. Yes, it’s fair to say I’m a talker. However, the thought of public speaking was a whole different ball game!”
It always followed the same pattern: getting anxious and worried in the build up to the training; feel shaky and nauseous throughout the day and then at the end when I had to demonstrate what I’d learned, that’s the moment my thinking would go as would my knees and the real terror struck. In fact, on more than one occasion I’ve broken down in a pool of snotty tears before I’ve even opened my mouth to deliver my opening line.
Now this utter terror wasn’t just reserved for training courses it was like this every time I had to present for work. I remember on one occasion I was forced to give a talk to a client and when I was taken to the room where the client was, and it turned out to be a boardroom with a table that would seat 40, rather than the little side room with a cosy table for 4 I was hoping for, apparently my face turned such a worrying shade of greyish/white that my boss had to prepare herself to catch me as genuinely thought I was about to pass out. I’ve even taken a job I really didn’t want purely because I got though the second round and was offered the job without have to do a presentation! Yes, it’s fair to say I was not a fan of presenting or public speaking!
So, what’s changed? Have I been on some incredible public speaking course that’s taught me an incredible new failsafe presenting technique that enables me to hypnotise the audience into thinking I’m the best thing since sliced bread? Did I drink a bottle of wine and knock back a fist full of Valium before-hand and hope for the best? Or was I sent up there at gun point and forced to do it? NO!
Since going through The Thrive Programme to overcome Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) back in 2013, I, and indeed my life, have changed so much. The programme has taught me to believe in myself and recognise that I have the ability to stand up in front of an audience to speak. I’ve learned to value myself enough to realise that I’m worthy of being listening to, have something valuable to say and believe in myself so I know what I’m talking about. I’ve gained in confidence, self-belief and self-esteem. I’m now able to manage my thinking so I can feel calm ahead of events rather than worrying beforehand and creating the crippling anticipatory anxiety that would’ve previously rendered me unable to think clearly and turn me into a quivering wreck. I’ve gained an empowering and supportive inner-voice which acts like my very own cheerleader rather than the critical, self-deprecating school-bully type voice I used to have that would rip me to shreds before I’d even loaded my Powerpoint slides and leave me hoping for a sudden thunderbolt to strike me before I had to utter “Hello, my name is Mary…” in a very wobbly voice.
So, the reason I was able to stand up today and talk in front of an audience and feel calm wasn’t because of all the public speaking training courses I’ve done in the past. It wasn’t the skills I have to structure a talk or hold the audience’s attention with a clever use of pace, tone and pauses. Nor was it the tools I’ve been taught such as creating an all singing and all dancing Powerpoint slides with clever wooshes and bells and whistles. No, the reason I was able to feel calm, confident and could look forward to and enjoy today was because of the psychological skills and tools I’ve gained.
In learning to thrive not only did I get fit and well, I overcome CFS, anxiety, low self-esteem and more fears and phobias than you could shake a stick at, but I’ve learned that I can do anything I put my mind to, even my former nemesis public speaking!
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